Well woman clinic in Twyford Surgery

I went to the well woman clinic in Twyford surgery today and was sadly not impressed. I think I was there for all of three minutes. I thought there would be some questions about my mother’s health history, grandmother’s health, discussion on ongoing medical issues and a smear test or a blood test. Would funding stretch to both? All I had was a urine test for protein and glucose, my blood pressure ( which is available at the front desk for free so I didn’t need this) and a quick questioning on my diet.

Was my diet healthy?

“More or less ” I replied, and she didn’t quiz me further. If she had she would have discovered that on Sunday night I ate half a Co-op vanilla cheesecake for my dinner and today I’ve eaten two sticks of Cadbury Twirls, nine cups of tea, one diet coke and a big glass of white wine. The wine counts as one of my five a day because wine is made of grapes. See, I’m properly educated about food and health.

She asked if I had ever smoked and if I exercised ….”I walk the dog?” No further questioning of whether this was enough, too little, too much?!If she had she would have discovered that I do indeed take the dog for a walk but I then hide behind a tree for half an hour and he then spends half an hour running around looking for me. He walks/runs and I sit and quietly contemplate the tree fungus and how long I’d take to die if I had a nibble.

She asked my height and weighed me. I asked if I should leave my shoes on ( made of wood, heavy…) and she said I could.

Do you know any self respecting woman that would weigh herself with shoes on? Who does that? Personally I think that is the first sign of a mental health issue.

According to the website I’m entitled to repeat this experience every three years.

Think I’ll be giving it a miss…….whereas the remaining Cadbury’s Twirl in my possession and I have a date.